Maria ** quietly changed her 6-week-old daughter’s diaper on a plastic table in the corner of the gym.
As her little girl squirmed, Maria smiled, stroked her cheek, and whispered lovingly to her in Spanish.
A cluster of women stood nearby, watching and smiling.
“Look at Maria!” one of the women exclaimed in what could only be described as surprise. “She knows how to change that diaper so well. And I think she really loves her baby.”
The women – well-meaning volunteers who had agreed to volunteer a few hours at a program for homeless families – started to speculate on the source of Maria’s diapering skills – as well as how she had come to care for her baby with such tenderness.
One woman, decked out in a white ski jacket, designer jeans and Uggs, thought she had the answer: “I think they give the women that are in these homeless programs parenting classes. That must be why she is like this. Isn’t it so beautiful?”
I stood just outside their circle watching, shuffling my feet, hesitant to correct them when I knew that their intentions were good.
But I happened to know that Maria had not, indeed, been required to attend parenting classes because the staff who ran the homeless program recognized, in their wisdom, that Maria did not need parenting classes.
Instead, what Maria needed was a warm, safe place where she could care for her baby and, with the help of professionals and an elaborate network of potential employers, develop a plan for getting back on her feet after leaving her abusive husband.
But really, Maria could have been teaching the rest of us about parenting there in that gym.
Because she has proven herself to be endlessly patient and loving – even as she has had to walk her baby in the middle of the night, up and down the halls of a darkened gym, school or church providing temporary housing for her and other homeless families.
She looks at her young daughter, who is just learning to smile at the people around her, and she sees hope – and that hope has inspired her, arguably for the first time in her adult life, to become a stronger, more resilient person.
She is learning, day by day, that she can succeed. She is learning English. And computers. And household budgeting. And within about 45 days, she is expected to have a job and a place that she and her daughter can call their own.
And in doing that, Maria will continue to be a model parent – one who loves, values and tenderly cares for her daughter, no matter how difficult the days get.
We should all be so skilled in our parenting.
** Name and some distinguishing details of this story have been changed to protect the identity of those involved.
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