Parents Care

“The parents at this school just don’t care about their kids.”

This is a statement we at the Institute for Educational and Social Justice hear quite often.

Sometimes, the comment is made by frustrated teachers, who want to see discipline and academic enrichment happening at home.

At other times, the statement is made by downtrodden school administrators, who struggle to get parent-based programs like PTA and booster organizations off the ground.

And in other cases, we have heard the statement made by parents who devote scores of hours to the school, while the parents around them remain absent.

But while we have heard many people accuse other parents of not caring, we have never once found a mother or father who would say, “No, I don’t care about my child.”

Instead, those parents accused of apathy often speak with great passion about how much they love their children, and how much hope they have that their children will succeed in ways they themselves have not. Almost always, they view a quality public education, including a high school diploma, as the ticket to future success.

So, why this disconnect between what some parents say about their parenting priorities and how they seem to behave?

It could be, in some cases, that we are insisting that parents serve public schools in ways that meet our needs – but do little to meet the true needs of the parents and their families.

In public schools, it seems, we are quick to ask parents to donate their time to raise money, or to help run a special event like a festival or fun run. Often, we love the PTA parents, who tend to view the school positively – in part because their own school experiences were probably positive.

But how often do we welcome the parents who have questions – who want to know why things are the way they are? Who think that maybe certain policies need to change because they are unfair, or discriminatory, or just plain don’t make sense?

And how often do we tell parents that they are to be their child’s first teacher – to help them with homework, to boost their lagging reading skills, or to support them in their math classes – but then do not take the time to ensure that the parents know what this should look like, or to help the parent acquire the skills needed to effectively help their children?

Parents care. They care deeply. We just need to figure out ways to reach them where they are and to help meet their needs in ways that matter.